The Essence of Christian Love: Lessons from Romans

Going to be In Romans chapter 12, we're going to continue our studies study here in Romans chapter 12.

And I pray that this study has been a blessing for you.

Romans chapter 12 talks about how we're supposed to live our lives as believers.

So what we believe about Jesus, what we believe about his grace and his salvation should dictate how we sacrifice, how we serve, how we.

How we live our lives as believers.

And so Romans chapter 1 through Romans chapter 11 tells us what to believe about the Lord, and it tells us what he has done for us.

And then Romans chapter 12 on through the end of the book of Romans tells us how we're supposed to do that practically in our lives.

We saw at the very beginning of Romans chapter 12 that we are to present our bodies, our everything, a living sacrifice unto God.

The Bible tells us that that's our reasonable service.

If we think about what God has done for us and we understand that type of sacrifice, that type of love, that type of forgiveness, then it's only logical for us to say that I want to give him everything that I am.

And he tells us in Romans chapter 12, verse 2, that we're not to be conformed to this world.

We're not to be molded into the image that the world wants us to be, but we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can demonstrate that perfect will of God in our lives.

And then he goes on to talk about how that looks.

There's.

There's grace to be the servant that we're called to be.

And he talks about how each of us in verse five, each of us are part of the body, and in that body we have differing gifts.

And we talked about those gifts.

And so for the last few weeks, actually more than a few weeks, it's been probably a couple months, we've been talking about the spiritual gifts that are mentioned here in Romans chapter 12.

And we looked at each one of those in detail.

And I hope that that was a help for you.

I hope that it guided you to one of those gifts that God has given you in your life, or at least honed in that gift in your actions and in your thoughts and in your heart.

But now we're going to see how we're to live out those gifts within the church.

So in verses 9 through 13, the Lord tells us here how we're supposed to treat others within the body of Christ.

We're seeing that God tells us to love.

But in the case of verses 9 through 13, we see that it's specifically given to us as a command to love one another within the local church.

So verse nine tells us, let love.

And we're going to stop there because we're going to be talking a lot about love here today.

We talked about the theme being God loved us, so we're to love others.

And many of you know that in Greek there's different words for love.

In the English language we say love or affection or compassion.

And so there's different meanings to those words.

But in the Greek there's really a detailed picture of each aspect of love.

And we're going to look at three of those today.

And I hope that understanding these three aspects of love will help us demonstrate love to one another within the church because of what Jesus Christ has done for us.

So we're going to go ahead and pray and we're going to start looking at this type of love that God has called us to have in the body of Christ.

Lord, I pray that you be with us in this time.

I pray that you help us understand first and foremost the love that you have demonstrated for us and to us.

And I pray that that love can transform us, that that love can change the way that we deal with others, particularly within the church.

And I pray that today can be a day of, of challenging, a day of comfort, a day of compassion, a day in which we can even to some degree find change in our life if need be.

I pray that if there's someone here today that has not understood the grace of the gospel, that today can be the day of salvation, that today can be the day of forgiveness, and that today we can add more folks to the family of God.

So we ask all these things in Jesus name.

Amen.

So the Spirit filled Christian, the Christian who's walking in the Spirit, the Christian who is wanting to present themselves a living sacrifice to the Lord, doesn't just know how to love, but he learns or she learns through genuine sacrifice and through genuine affection that God has given to us.

And as we learn from that love, we're able to give that love to other people.

We're able to reflect that love to other people.

And so verse number nine, it says, let love be without dissimulation.

Dissimulation is a big word in the King James.

What does that mean?

Well, it really means to love in such a way that is not hypocritical, to have genuine love.

Now that word love there in the Greek is agape.

That's one of the loves that we're going to be discussing here today.

That word Agape has a lot wrapped up into it.

One of the words that you can think about with the word agape is sacrifice.

Agape, love sacrifices something.

Now the greatest act of agape was when the Lord sent Jesus Christ to this earth to die on the cross for our sins.

That's the greatest sacrifice of all of history.

And so we know that that type of love is wrapped up with sacrifice, but we also know that this type of love is wrapped up in a choice.

It's a choice, it's not a feeling.

The world tells us that love is a feeling.

And though sometimes love does produce feelings, and there are some levels of emotion when it comes to loving someone in our life, this type of love, this agape, love is a choice.

And so he says here, let your love within the body of Christ be without hypocrisy.

The Greek word literally means not being a hypocrite.

And actually the Greek word is wrapped up with another meaning.

And I think that it's important for us to do this.

I don't always do word studies, but today we're going to be doing a lot of word study.

And the reason that we need to do that is because there's a deep richness to the teaching when you understand what the Greek author here, in this case Paul, but ultimately the Lord is giving us.

And so what we see here is that this word dissimulation or this phrase without dissimulation really means to not be an actor.

The word in the Greek is describing an actor and it says, don't be an actor.

Now what do we mean by that?

Well, back at that time, what would have happened in that culture is that an actor would have come out on stage and maybe portrayed himself or herself in a different way.

Maybe they would have even worn a mask to be somebody else.

And so the meaning behind this is don't come in with the guise of love and have a mask on and have other motivations behind it.

So the love is to be genuine.

The broad self giving love that Paul's talking about here is a command.

It's to be genuine in our love.

It's a, it's preaching against hypocritical love.

And it's really like this.

Don't pretend to love someone.

Don't.

Don't come about saying certain things in front of them, but behind their back.

Say other things.

Don't say you're going to be doing this for them and then not do this.

Don't, don't come with a mouth that says this, but a heart that says something completely different.

It's not about being performative in our love.

It's about having the right motivations.

It's about not harboring bitterness to those around us.

Agape basically says this.

I will choose what is good for you, even if I don't feel like it.

I'm going to do what's best for you, even if it doesn't bring anything back to me.

So here in this case, he says love with this type of sacrificial, genuine love, it's a love that chooses.

It's a love that wakes up in the morning and says this.

I know that I might not feel the love back, but I'm going to give this to somebody else.

I'm going to choose what's best for them.

I'm going to do what's best for them.

But then he goes on to say a little bit more about this type of love.

He says, don't let this love be hypocritical.

But then he says, abhor that which is evil, Cleave to that which is good.

So with this love comes a sense of morals.

It comes a sense of hope, holiness.

So a lot of times what the world says is that if you love somebody that you have to condone everything that they do.

You have to support everything that they do.

You have to even celebrate everything that they do.

That's not this type of love, because it says right after the fact that we're supposed to have genuine love to what it says, abhor, dislike that which is evil, turn away from anything that points a king picture to sin or to darkness.

And then on the flip side of that, it's not just about hating evil.

It's not just about rejecting evil.

But it says, cleave to that which is good.

With that comes the meaning of being glued to something.

In the original Greek, it means to be attached to something, cling to it, cleave to it, hold on to that which is good when it comes to the way that we love people.

So biblical love doesn't simply tolerate everything.

Love hates that which is evil because love desires what is good for the person.

So sometimes when someone's doing something that's evil, it's not good for them all the time.

If they're doing something evil, it's not good for them.

And for us to tell someone, well, it's okay, I love you.

So I'm going to overlook everything that's not biblical love.

That's not agape love, that's not sacrificial love.

That's Not a type of love that genuinely seeks the best for that person.

So with this type of love comes a sense of morality, comes a sense of understanding that I want what's best for that person.

So our culture today says that if a Christian says anything against someone, that they must hate them.

That's not what the Bible teaches.

The Bible says that we are to hate the evil, but we're to love the person and want what's best for them and want them to follow Christ.

And so for us within the church, how do we demonstrate love?

Well, we don't just accept everyone for who they are.

We.

You know, there's a lot of churches that say, hey, just accept everyone for who they are.

Come as you are, stay as you are.

Don't change your life.

Folks, at Middletown Baptist Church, our goal is to welcome people in and love on them, but don't just condone everything that they do.

We want people to come to Middletown Baptist as they are, but leave change to leave more like Jesus, to see a difference in the type of love that we have.

I know that sometimes I'm like, I'll call my parents and I'll say, hey, did you guys hear my sermon today?

And they.

They will.

So they go to church on Sundays, but then they have double church because they'll listen to my sermon after church.

And I appreciate that.

I was like, how'd you think it went?

And my mom.

My mom has never told me that I've ever preached a bad sermon.

Okay?

Because it's my mom.

Every time.

Sometimes I'll get up there and I won't be able to say anything.

And my mom's like, oh, that was the greatest thing ever.

Why?

Because she's my mom.

She's gonna love everything that I do.

And sometimes that's helpful, but sometimes that's not helpful because we're not able to critique what we're doing in our life and identify areas in which we need to change.

So if you came up to me as your pastor and you say, hey, pastor, I'm really going through some struggles.

I'm going through some temptations.

I might even have some sin in my life, and I just look at you and go, well, you know what?

You're.

You're.

I love.

I love you.

You're a good person.

So just keep doing what you're doing.

I just support whatever you're doing.

That would not meet.

That would not be me demonstrating true biblical love.

True biblical love would be, hey, look, I love you, but I don't love the fact that you're doing this.

This is actually going to cause a lot of harm for you.

This is going to bring you difficulty, this is going to bring you pain.

And so loving is speaking the truth to somebody.

It's, it's patient, it's kind, but it's truth.

So here he says, don't love with this type of false love that just tells people what they want to hear, abhor what is evil, cleave or cling to that which is good.

So when we look at agape love, we see agape love is a choice.

We see that it's genuine, we see that it's moral, and we see that it's sacrificial.

Now we know the greatest act of love is the fact that God sent His only begotten Son for us.

But God commendeth his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

That's the greatest sacrifice.

So God shows His love to us.

He's proved his love for us.

And there's a lot of people in this world that question whether or not God loves them.

How could God love me and let this happen?

Or how could God love people and allow pain and suffering to happen?

And I understand that sentiment.

And certain times we have to wrestle with that concept.

But just think about this.

God already proved his love for you.

He doesn't have to keep proving it to you because he proved his love to you and for you because of his only begotten Son that He sent for you.

I have two sons, three kids, and it would be very hard for me to sacrifice any of them for anyone.

And the fact that God showed that love to us by sending Jesus, and the Bible says that the one who knew no sin, that's Jesus, became sin for us.

He sacrificed Himself for us.

And so we see that sacrificial love is the type of love that we're to have within the church.

So the question that you might ask when it comes to this type of love is this.

Do I love people because I feel affection for them or do I love people because I've chosen to seek their good?

And really, agape love is the second question.

Do I love this person because they do something for me, or do I love this person because I know it's the right thing to do and I choose to love them no matter how they act?

The Bible says that the right type of love is that sacrificial love.

Now I would say it this way.

The way that we could describe agape is I choose to love you, even if.

If it cost me something, I choose to love you.

Even if there's going to be struggles, I choose to love you even if you talk back to me.

Right?

That's the level of this type of love that God has called us to have.

But he doesn't stop there.

It goes further.

In verse 10, he says, Be kindly affectioned, one to another.

Now this is a new type of love.

The King James puts it, be kindly affection.

But the Greek word is philo storje.

Philo storje means a love like a family.

Philo is love.

Storge is family.

And so this talks about this familial love.

You ever heard someone within our church say, hey, I. I'm part of this church family.

Maybe you've never experienced that type of love.

Maybe you don't even understand that concept.

Maybe you're visiting today and you're like, well, I don't feel part of this family.

Well, I'm going to tell you that the church is called to be a family.

We're called to be the family of God.

In the greater sense.

We're called to be as children of God, but in a more personal sense, we're called to be the body of Christ.

And therefore we are family.

And he says here in verse 10, be kindly affection one to another.

And then he goes on to say what type of love that is.

And we're going to talk about that after this.

But verse 10 tells us that it's supposed to be a familial relationship.

We're supposed to see the reason to love someone within the body of Christ.

We're called to have agape love for people because of the fact that they are part of the family of God.

This type of love philosorge describes natural affection associated with family relationships.

So it's a tenderheartedness, it's an attachment that exists between what we would see in our culture as parents and children or siblings or those that are close with one another.

And so Paul is essentially telling Christians this.

Develop the type of love.

Develop the type of affection that a family member has for another family member.

Develop the kind of affection that you should see in a healthy family.

Because you might say, well, Pastor, you don't know my family.

I don't think we should have the type of love that my family has within the church.

We're talking about a healthy situation.

We're not talking about a broken family.

We're talking about God's family.

We're talking about a family that's acting as one unit and so we know that a family knows us.

A family should and will see us at our best and sometimes see us at our worst.

You know, we went on vacation and this past week up to the Poconos and I was talking about this last week, go up there for relaxation.

We have a 11 year old, an 8 year old and a 2 year old.

There wasn't a lot of relaxation going on, at least in the sense of it being peace and quiet.

Okay, I found my moments of peace and quiet.

And there were times on that trip, especially if you ever had a road trip.

Have you ever taken a road trip with kids that asked every 10 minutes, are we there yet?

Can we stop for food?

I need to go to the restroom.

Those were those moments where I was tested.

Am I going to be at my best in the spirit or am I going to be at my worst in my flesh?

And I'm going to be honest with you, there was times on that road trip.

After the fifth time we were asked whether or not we were going to be there.

My flesh was starting to come out and it was not the best.

It might have been at my worst.

So my family has seen me at my best, but my family see me at my worst.

That's how it should be within the church.

There's times where we see people at their best and it's easy to love them.

It's easy to love someone when they're doing things that are in our minds the right thing to do and, and they're on our side and everything is going well.

But there's going to be times within the family, that is the church, that we see people not at their best.

The question is, is how are we going to treat them if we see them at their worst?

A lot of times we just write them off.

A lot of times we say, you know what, that was a personal slight.

To me, they're dead.

To me, they're gone.

But the Bible says that we're to assume the best in a brother or sister in Christ.

The way that this would look is that if I'm having a difficult day or maybe someone else is having a difficult day and they act out and we could assume that they are bad people, we could assume that they hate us, or we could understand that maybe they're having a bad day and maybe they need to have someone talk with them and pray with them and be with them and listen to them.

And so what we see here in this case is that he tells us to have this type of kind affection, one to another, because we are part of the family.

Family sees us at our best.

Family sees us at our worst.

Church shouldn't be a place where everyone has to pretend.

We saw that back in verse number nine.

We're not to have dissimulation.

We're not to have hypocritical aspects within our church.

The whole idea here is that we should live boldly and authentically with one another.

Because why the family cares?

We have something invested in the family.

I'm invested in my children.

I'm invested in my spouse.

I'm invested in my parents.

I want what's best for them.

And that should be the same way within the church.

I shouldn't look at somebody else within the church and say, well, that's their thing.

That's their problem.

If they have success, great, that's their success.

If they fail, great, that's their failure.

It doesn't affect me.

No, the successes and failures within the body of Christ are affect all of us.

We should celebrate when those have blessings.

We should cry with those who are going through pain.

And here in this case, we see that that's that familial love.

Because we should care for one another.

When someone hurts, we should hurt with them.

When someone rejoices, we should rejoice with them.

We know that later on in this passage in verse number 15, he says, Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep.

That's part of the being the body of Christ.

That's part of being within the church.

A lot of times people think church is this isolated thing, that this is the building that I come to on Sunday mornings.

I don't know anybody.

I get my message, I go home, and that's it.

That's only one tiny aspect of what the church is supposed to be.

Being part of the body of Christ means I'm coming in.

This is my family, and I must see it that way.

We had an opportunity to move away from Florida, move away from our family, and that was a difficult process.

We didn't know what to expect when we got here.

We didn't know if people were going to accept us.

We didn't know.

We didn't know if people were going to love on us.

And though our family is up here quite frequently and we get to talk to them a lot, we truly do understand Middletown Baptist Church to be our family.

And there's something special about that.

Because that doesn't mean that you're going to agree with everybody.

I don't how many of you agree with Everybody in your family at all points in time.

I don't think any of us have that.

But there's still family, there's still that kind affection towards them.

We can get together at a dinner table and have a discussion and maybe not leave with agreement, but we can at least leave saying, hey, we're family.

We love each other, we want what's best for one another.

I see that within my children, you know, Micah and Nora particularly, they, they bicker back and forth, they go back and forth, they go back and forth.

And I'm like, guys, you're, you're brother and sister.

Be kind to one another, but let someone else say something about them.

Oh man, you'll see them fired up, they'll fight for one another.

And that's sometimes what has to be within the church.

We have to understand that we're not all going to have the same level of agreement on every little thing, but we have to understand that we're doing this together, we're fighting this battle together.

So family cares for one another.

Family doesn't easily walk away, at least in the concept of being a Christ centered family.

This is essentially important for the church.

We're not just people attending the same meetings.

We're brothers and sisters coming with the same purpose.

This means that there should be affection, there should be loyalty, there should be patience, there should be care.

So when we see verse 10, when he says, be kindly affectioned one to another, this type of love, philostorge is the type of love that says, you are family to me.

So agape is, I choose to love you even if it costs something.

This type of love, this brotherly, this kindness, this, this in verse 10, kindly affection, one to another would be a love that says this, you are family to me.

I'm identifying you as my family.

I'm, I'm yoking up with you, I'm putting my arm around you, I'm exhorting you, I'm edifying you, I'm allowing you to edify me and love on me.

That's the process of being kindly affection one to another.

But then he says, be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love.

And this Greek word is a word that I'm sure you all are going to understand when I say it.

It's Philadelphia, it's brotherly love.

And there's more to this.

He says, do this, do be, be kindly affectioned one to another with this type of Philadelphia brotherly love.

This word literally is built with two words.

Philo, which means love, Delphia which is Adelphos, which you get Delphia from, is brother.

So it's brotherly love.

This is a little bit different from Storje love, because storje emphasizes a familial affection, where this type of Philadelphia love emphasizes friendship, companionship, a relationship.

And so Paul isn't just saying, hey, they're technically your brother, so you got to put up with them.

They're technically your sister.

You have to put up with them.

He's saying this, yes, they are technically your sister and brother, but also, at the same time, you're called to enjoy that relationship.

And so it would say this, as a Christian, I should actually enjoy loving my brother and sister and not just do it because I have to.

That's really the point that he's trying to make here.

He says, have that familial relationship, but love them with a type of passion that's more than just, well, I have to, because someone's going to get mad at me, or I have to, because I can't deny this person.

But it's a true desire to love someone.

So.

So Christianity isn't merely about loving an abstract group called the church.

Like, I love Middletown Baptist Church, but I don't really love any particular individual in Middletown Baptist Church.

That's a problem, because what is the church?

A lot of people will.

Will argue about that.

The church is not the building.

The church is not the program.

The church really is made up of the people.

So if I love Middletown Baptist Church, guess what?

That literally means I love the people that make up Middletown Baptist Church.

Pastor, how can I love everybody?

Well, you can't get to know everybody.

But what you can do is understand that everyone's part of my family and that every single point of time as I'm here at Middletown Baptist Church, my goal is, is to grow in this type of brotherly love and enjoy my time around them.

That's why we have fellowship events.

Why do we fellowship?

We fellowship because God calls us to fellowship, number one.

But number two, it's a way in which we can get to know one another.

That's why we shake hands in the middle of the service.

We don't do that just because we want to get up and move around.

We do that so that you can maybe find someone new that you've never met before.

Introduce yourself.

You say, well, Pastor, I don't want to move around, and I don't want to do that.

That's not part of my Christian walk.

Well, then don't get up and shake hands.

Go out and see someone in the lobby at the end of the service.

But at the end of the day, we are called to be a family.

We're called to desire to be around one another.

It's not an isolated thing.

We're not called to be Christians on an island.

You know, that's.

That's a misnomer in our culture today.

The culture says that we're supposed to just do our Christian walk on our own and not be around anybody else.

I can do church no matter where I am.

Well, you can love Jesus out on your boat, but that's not church.

You can love Jesus out in the forest and enjoy nature, but that's not church.

You can love Jesus and praise him in your home.

The Bible doesn't say that church is the only place that we're supposed to praise, but church is where we come together.

Hebrews chapter 10 says, Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together.

Why?

Because we're to exhort one another to love and good works.

It's to come together and encourage one another.

Church should be encouraging.

Church should be challenging.

Church should be a place where we find friendship and conviction and prayer and love and sacrifice and service and all the things that we see in scripture that should be where it happens within the body of believers.

So church doesn't just happen in these four walls.

Church can happen on the field.

Church can happen at Starbucks.

Church can happen at Food Lion.

But what that means is that we're coming together now.

I'm thankful for this building.

I think it's a good place to meet.

I think it's a great place to meet.

I think it's the best place to meet in all of Delaware.

But what I am saying is this.

We can't reduce church down to the one hour that we spend on Sunday mornings together, or hour and a half, depending on how long I preach.

The idea would be that church is happening every single day of the week.

That church is happening like the Book of Acts, day to day within people's homes.

The idea that he's talking about here is that we want to be around one another.

We're not just forced to be here on Sunday mornings.

We're wanting to be around other Christians.

Now, some Christians are going to be a lot more easily connected.

Now, what do I mean by that?

There's going to be Christians, groups of Christians that are going to find common themes, and that's okay.

Sometimes what happens is that certain age groups like to congregate together.

We understand that there's going to be times where you might have the Philadelphia Eagles fans meeting in this section and the New York Giants fans meeting in that section.

And there's little things that we can have within our church that can obviously give us more attraction to one or another.

But at the end of the day, the whole concept is what's bringing us together is Jesus Christ.

That's our common denominator.

So even if someone looks different than you, maybe from a different country, or maybe they like a different sports team, or maybe they live in Maryland, and maybe they're just different.

Maybe.

Maybe they just come in driving a different vehicle than you like, or whatever it is.

I don't know what causes division ultimately, but what we see here is that the common denominator is that we all have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and we're called to have that familial relationship.

So he says here, this type of Philadelphia, this type of brotherly love comes with something.

It comes with love that is demonstrated.

It's learning to love specific people.

It's relational, and sometimes friendship.

And love requires time.

It requires conversation, it requires shared experiences.

It requires knowing one another.

It requires carrying one another's burden.

And that's what he's talking about here.

In verse number 10, he says, be kindly, affectionate, one to another with this type of brotherly love.

Then he says this statement, which I find so interesting.

He says, in honor, preferring one another.

Now, what does that mean?

Well, literally, it means this.

To put others first.

Don't put yourself first, but put others first and actually try to outdo the other person with your kindness.

That's the literal meaning.

It says to outdo the other person.

So, like, it's like almost like you're stumbling over yourself to try to give them the preference.

I want to give you the first place.

I want to give you the.

The.

The opportunity to succeed.

I want to give you the opportunity to serve.

And so what it really is here is this understanding that I am to do everything that I possibly can to give someone else the opportunity.

And so it's love that's intentional.

It doesn't just accidentally happen.

It doesn't just happen because we're with one another.

It takes investment.

It takes time.

It takes hearing people's backgrounds and their stories.

It takes time of prayer.

It takes a time to be alongside of them.

And so this type of love is this.

I enjoy being connected with you.

So we have this understanding of, I choose to love you no matter what it costs.

That's agape.

Then we see Storje.

I love you because you're family.

And then we see this last type of love, this brotherly love, is that I enjoy being connected with you.

I enjoy that I'm with you.

I'm enjoying that I'm serving with you.

I'm enjoying that I get to do life together with you.

And so when you put these three types of love together, you see this wonderful progression.

Agape is, I choose what's good for you.

I choose to.

To help you, to sacrifice for you.

And then we see, storje, I care about you like family.

I. I recognize you as my family.

I see you through the lens of.

Of being part of the family of God.

And then this last type of love, this love that's described as brotherly love, this is, I enjoy being in a relationship with you.

So it kind of goes from I choose to love you to I recognize why I love you to at the very end, I enjoy loving you.

And sometimes when we talk about love, we always think about it in the romantic sense, and that's the Greek word eros, which is a completely different love.

But this type of love that's being described here, these types of love that are being described here are basically building on one another.

We start with agape, because someone comes into the church building.

We don't know if they're saved.

We don't know if they're going through pain.

We don't know if they're believers.

They come in, we show love no matter what they do, okay, we love on them, we sacrifice for them.

But then it takes.

The next step is as they're identified as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

We can say, look, I love you.

And I see that we have this relationship.

And then secondly, that.

That then forms into this third type of love is I enjoy being around you.

I prefer being around you.

I'm going to give you honor.

That's what it says there in verse 10, in honor honoring other people.

Now, this isn't a worship.

This isn't like putting people on a pedestal.

It's just showing people honor by giving them first place, by taking the back seat, by being sacrificial, by.

By being humble.

And so it's a type of mature Christian love that doesn't stop at just feeling, but it then acts upon it.

So it's outdoing one another to show honor to them.

Now, Agape is someone who says, I'm going to love you even when love cost me something.

Storje is someone who says, you're my family.

I'm going to care for you.

And then that Philadelphia love is the friend who says, I enjoy being with you.

I want to walk through life with you.

Now, why is this so important?

You might say, well, Pastor, why are you drilling this down?

Why do I need to love someone within the church?

I think you're just, you know, trying to do this because it makes sense for you to have people love each other because there's not going to be conflict.

No, folks, this isn't just a pragmatic thing, okay?

This is not just, well, love on everybody.

We're all going to sing Kumbaya.

We're all going to just be happy, happy together.

No, this is actually a command from God.

We read it this morning as we started the sermon.

But I want you to go back to First John, chapter four with me.

I want you to see that not only am I serious about this, but the Lord himself is serious about this.

In First John chapter four, we're told some very strong things, that if we do not love our brother, that means that there's something lacking in our life.

And I want to speak hard truth to you here this morning, and I'm going to tell you just before we get into this, that I'm not perfect here.

I struggle in this area.

And why do we sometimes struggle with love, particularly love within the church?

Well, sometimes we struggle with love when we've been hurt.

Maybe someone that we extended love to within our Christian life has hurt us.

And then what happens is that we kind of get that, that rhino skin, you know, we kind of get that like thick skin.

I don't want to get hurt ever again.

So I'm going to just be cold hearted.

Or maybe it's because I haven't experienced anyone ever loving me.

Maybe the church that I've been a part of, I've never really felt anyone connected to me.

So you know what?

I just don't really want to love.

I don't have a desire to love.

I don't even know what that looks like within the church.

I understand that there's a lot of reasons why we can justify a lack of love within the body of Christ.

But I want you to see here in First John chapter four that it's not optional.

It's not something that we can say, well, if everything goes my way and I understand it, then I'm going to do it.

No, it says in First John chapter four and we're going to start in verse 21 and work our way backwards.

He says, and this commandment have we from him talking about God, that He who loveth God, love his brother also.

So it's not optional.

God says, if you love me, you love your brother.

If you love me, you love your church.

Family.

Doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything that they do.

It doesn't mean that you condone their wrongdoings.

By the way, that's how it's been taught sometimes in the past.

So I love someone and they sin.

Well, I gotta be okay with that.

I've got to condone their sin.

No, that's not what it's saying.

It's not condoning the wrong.

We can call out wrongdoing.

We can do all that in a way that is still loving.

The Bible says that we're to love them and treat them with the type of love that God has for us.

So he says that this is a commandment that we have from him, that if we love God, we love our brother also.

Go back a verse, verse number 20, because you might say, well, I love God with all my heart, but I still don't understand why I need to love this other person who's difficult over here.

Well, he says in verse 20, if a man say, I love God.

By the way, this is not me.

This is.

I did not write first John.

I'm just reading this.

If a man say, I love God and hateth his brother, he is a liar.

For he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

The question that he's asking is this.

If you say you love God, how can you say you hate your brother?

Because you see your brother, you're able to spend time with your brother.

You can't say that you love God and hate your brother.

Because the reality is, is that if you hate your brother, you're struggling with your love for God.

And he tells us why we can understand his love in verse 19.

We love him because he first loved us.

And that one John, chapter four is a wonderful passage on true biblical love.

And the idea is, is that we have received the love of God.

We love him because he first loved us.

He describes what that love looks like.

Verse 7.

Beloved, let us love one another.

For love is of God.

And everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.

He that loveth not, knoweth not God.

For God is love.

And this was manifested, and this was demonstrated the love of God toward us.

Because that God sent His only begotten Son into the world that we might live through Him.

God shows us love through his son, verse 10 herein is love.

Not that we love God, but that he loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation or the satisfaction for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

So it's not just something that we do for smoothness within the Church.

It's not something that we do just so that there's no conflict.

We don't just love people because they're going to do good things for us.

We are called to love our brothers and sisters in Christ because God has called us to love them.

And he has also told us that if we understand his love, that it will be a natural inclination for us to love other people.

And that's the idea of the love that Romans chapter 12 is trying to describe to us.

It's just not about if it feels good.

It's not just about if it makes sense.

It's not just about whether or not I'm going to receive love.

It's the question not really.

It's not the question of whether or not I have the capacity to love someone.

It's the question of have I received the love of Jesus Christ?

And if so, it should be the natural affection that I have for one another.

So verses 9 and 10 really just speak about this type of love that we're to have for other Christians.

We're going to talk next week about how that looks, how that is played out in a more practical sense.

But I hope that all of us can understand that Jesus demonstrates all of these loves perfectly.

He chose us when we were sinners.

That that agape love he sacrificed for us, he brought us into the family.

That's that storage love we're trying to children of God.

He called us to be disciples and friends.

That's that brotherly love.

And he ultimately gave Himself for us.

And so this final challenge is this.

If Christ is transforming me, I should recognize that transformation and his love should be transforming my relationships with the people that I have within the Church.

Now, we're going to talk later on in this passage about our enemies, because we shouldn't see the Church as our enemy.

But there is going to be times in our life as Christians that we're going to face people that sin against us.

We're going to talk about what that looks like.

We're going to talk about how we can forgive and how we restore relationships within the body of Christ.

But really what I wanted us to understand is this.

It's a.

It's a question today, this morning about do I love God, I want.

I want you to think about that question.

Do I love God?

And I think all of us would understand that to some degree we love God.

We would recognize that love in our life.

And we need to remember why we love God.

He says in First John, chapter 4, verse 19, we love God because he first loved us.

And so the way that we understand our love for God is by understanding his love for us.

And if you don't know what God's love is for you, we've talked about it a lot this morning, but God has abundantly displayed his love towards us in bringing us to a place where we can find something, salvation that we can find, hope that we can find everlasting life.

So the first place that you should start is exploring the type of love that God has for you.

If you're struggling with loving other people, it's not just trying harder to love other people.

This is sometimes how it looks.

Okay, Pastor preaches a sermon about loving people that are difficult.

Now I just got to try a lot harder.

Next week.

I'm going to try really hard to love these people.

I'm going to show up to church and I'm going to put a smile on my face, and then I'm going to walk up to them and I'm going to say, hey, how you doing?

And then what if they go, they just turn around and walk away.

I've done that before.

A couple weeks ago, I had some kids coming up to me, and apparently they were saying, hey, Pastor Josh.

And I was so locked into, like, checking in on something.

I was like.

And I'm hard of hearing anyway, in general, so I did not hear them saying anything.

And they.

They were like, oh.

And someone said, hey.

They said something to you, Pastor?

I was like, oh, hey, hey, guys.

How you doing?

So I. I know that sometimes people can maybe act a certain way or maybe they can come across a certain way.

And so what happens is that we could come into church or we could come into work, or we could come into our homes and we could say, okay, I'm going to really try hard to love someone today, and something happens.

And then we cycle right back into the problem of having hatred or having bitterness or having just a lack of patience with someone.

But what we do.

So how do we rectify that?

How do we fix that problem of getting into that vicious cycle of.

Of bitterness?

What do we do?

We go back to the love that Jesus Christ had for us.

So the first place that we start if we're struggling with loving others is we go back to what Jesus Christ has done for us.

We go back to his forgiveness.

We go back to his sacrifice.

And we rest there until we understand that, until we're walking in that.

And then from there we go to the next step.

Okay, so now do I love God?

Well, he loves me, so that's why I love him.

Then what does it look like to love God?

Well, am I becoming the kind of person who genuinely loves God's people?

A mark of whether or not I'm walking in fellowship with God and loving God is do I truly love being around other fellow believers?

I know that sometimes that's difficult.

I know for me, it's difficult.

Sometimes I'm busy, sometimes I'm tired.

Sometimes I have every reason to say, I don't want to do this.

But at the end of the day, the Bible tells us that the greatest commandment.

Remember we talked about this last time?

Jesus is approached by this lawyer.

The lawyer asks him, hey, what's the greatest commandment?

He's trying to tempt Jesus.

What does Jesus say?

Love God with everything.

Heart, soul, mind and strength.

And what's the second part of that?

To love our neighbor as ourself.

It's part of the greatest commandment.

So it's not an option.

The Bible tells us here, in this case, that it's proof of God's love being manifested in our life if we love other brothers and sisters in Christ.

Verses nine and ten speak of these types of love.

These three loves.

Agape, Vilos, Dorje, and Philadelphia.

A love that chooses and sacrifices.

A love that identifies a fellow brother and sister in Christ as family.

And then the third love is that I enjoy loving you, that I enjoy fellowshiping with you.

I enjoy being around you.

And I hope that this passage can tie us to directly to next week where we see what it means to rejoice in hope, to be patient in tribulation, to continue in praying for one another, to see the distributing of the necessities to the saints, the hospitality that comes along with this love.

We're going to talk all about this, and then we're going to tie it together with how we deal with those that sin against us.

And so here is a very basic sermon that we've talked about this morning.

It's the concept of love.

But I do want to just really go back and nail down one last truth.

Though the Bible very clearly teaches that we're supposed to love, it doesn't stop there.

Love is the.

Is the catalyst.

But a lot of times, what people only Preach is the love.

They say, well, there's, you know, I gotta love everybody and I just have to overlook sin.

No, go back to what it says there in verse nine.

Abhor that which is evil, cleave to that which is good.

You're gonna hear a lot about love.

Like, love is love.

Love is okay, just everyone.

If Christians were just more loving, everyone would be okay.

The, the problem with that is that sometimes people are defining love the wrong way.

And so if we can leave with anything today, we need to know that basic definition of what God's love is for us in our life.

God doesn't condone everything that we do.

God does not celebrate everything that we do.

God loves us enough to discipline us.

God loves us enough to correct us.

God loves us enough to convict us.

God loves us enough to bring to our, our minds and to our hearts the areas in our life that we need to change.

So I would challenge you to think about that within your own life that, yes, God is a God of love, but God is also a God of holiness.

God is a God of justice.

God is a God, yes, of forgiveness, but he's also a God who does not condone evil doing so.

What I will say is this, as Christians, we are not just called to be all lovey dovey and just sunshine and rainbows and everything's okay.

No, there is a time and a place to stand on truth.

There is a time and a place to correct.

There is a time and a place to exhort.

There's a time and a place to challenge and even confront.

But what I will say is that we do that all with the understanding that this is my brother, that I have been where that person is, that I have fallen into sin, and that I have needed people to pull me out and help me.

And then ultimately it's the whole idea of just pointing people to Jesus.

My love should never point people to me.

If people are like, well, you know what?

I'm a Christian only because of this person.

And if this person ever failed, then I'm not going to be a Christian anymore because it's not real anymore.

No, my love for another believer should always point people to the love of Jesus Christ.

He is the source, he is the light.

And so my love for you should never be a love that's selfish, wanting praise.

My love for another Christian should always be about lifting up Jesus Christ.

Matthew 5:16.

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

So we could boil it down to this, and this will be the conclusion.

The type of love that God has for us is the type of love that we're supposed to give to other people.

And that love should never be centered on us.

That love should always be centered on the Lord.

It's a sacrificial love.

It's a genuine love.

It's a love that chooses.

It's a love that identifies our relationship.

It's a love that eventually gets to a place where we enjoy and long for the affection of being around other brothers and sisters in Christ.

So how could you be a part of that within Middletown Baptist Church?

Well, what I would encourage you to do is step out, get to know some people, get to understand their story.

You're never going to truly appreciate someone in their life unless you know what they've gone through, maybe what they're praying for.

One of the areas of my life that I struggle with is busyness.

I don't know if any of you are just so busy that for me, I look at these opportunities to get to know people sometimes as we.

Well, I'm not going to be able to get done when I need to get done, folks.

Sometimes.

And I'm preaching to myself right now.

This is really me preaching to myself.

But if you get something about this, this is good.

Sometimes we have to forget about the program and identify the people.

Sometimes we just have to stop and say, yeah, I've got about 20 things to do on my checklist, but this person's situation is more important, and I have to be okay with that.

I have to be okay with missing what I want to get done so that this person can be addressed.

What I would say is that we desire Middletown Baptist Church to be a place where people can find that type of love, ultimately from the Lord, but seeing through the people.

So never get too busy to take time to hear someone's story, to pray with them, to hear what they're going through, to hear what they're desiring in their life, what their family's doing, because that's one way that we can get to know someone and really, truly enjoy being around them.

And so that's the idea.

The idea would be to reciprocate the love that Jesus Christ has given us.

I hope that Middletown Baptist Church can be not only a friendly church.

We want to be friendly, right?

That's.

That's one of the major goals of a church, is that we want people to see that there's the love of Jesus.

But more than just being friendly, I hope that Middletown Baptist church can be characterized by the love of Christ in these three ways.

Through the gape, through Storj, through Philadelphia, that we can identify being part of the family of God.

I want Middletown Baptist Church and I think more importantly, God wants Middletown Baptist Church to understand that the family is so important.

There's so many different dynamics to a family.

Last night my kids were watching this video and it was really telling.

It was like, who is the funniest in the family?

And the they, they had to answer and like, who's the messiest?

Who's the least organized, who's the most organized?

Who's the better cook?

Who?

And it was really telling to hear my kids opinions about me because, you know, I, I sometimes think of myself in an elevated view.

I don't know if any of you guys have ever done this.

I think I'm the most friendly person in the world.

I think that I'm the most talented.

You know, I always paint myself in a light that I want it to be.

But sometimes it takes other people to tell us what they truly see.

And so for my kids, like, you know, I, I think that I'm, you know, the, the, you know, the best.

And sometimes when the kids like, no, dad, that's not you, that's mom.

She's, she's, she's way more loving than you.

And I'm like, oh yeah.

And, and, and I think that as a church there is a time and a place for us to inspect ourselves, to not say, well, I know that I'm friendly, so everyone must think that I'm friendly.

It's always good to hear how people see us in the community.

It's always good to hear a first time visitor.

I always want to hear that because sometimes people will say, well, you know, I came to your church and no one ever said hi to me.

And I'm like, that's impossible.

I know someone said hi to you.

But the reality is, is that I can't deny someone's experience because things can happen.

So instead of us just saying, well, we're definitely a friendly church.

We're, we're definitely a loving church and most likely we are.

But at the same time, there's always a time and a place for us to inspect our lives.

To say, are we really being the family of God that God has called us to be?

Are we really showing the type of agape love that God has called us to have?

Are we really showing that type of brotherly familial connection that God has called us to have?

Are we really enjoying being around other fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

And if I would say it this way, if you don't enjoy being around fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, you're not alone.

It happens.

But what the Bible says is that we can grow in that love.

And I hope that it's something that we can have within our church, whether it be through fellowships, whether it be through Bible studies, whether it be through small groups to love people not because they've earned our love, but love people because of the way that God sees them and love them because God has called us to love them in a command there in First John, chapter four.

And so if you're able to stand with me, we're going to go ahead and close in prayer here this morning.

When I have a time for invitation.

If, if you could get to a place in your life where you're able to inspect yourself, remove all distractions from our minds and from our hearts.

If you'd like, you can close your eyes, bow your heads.

This really isn't a time at which we want to make a decision because someone else is making a decision or even be fearful of a decision because someone else might judge us.

It's a decision that I want you to make right now between you and the Lord.

First and foremost, the big question is, is, do you love God?

Do you know God?

If you do know God and you do know his love, and you've experienced his love, obviously all of us can love God more.

But is there a love of God in my heart?

Well, if there is, fantastic.

Amen, praise God.

But the second step of that would be this.

Am I allowing the love of God to dictate my love for others within the church?

If so, praise God.

Stand strong in that.

Don't allow anything to pull you away from that type of love.

But if there is hindrances, if there is a hold up, if there is a level of bitterness in your life, I hope that today you can turn that over to the Lord and say, lord, I want to love people the way that you want me to love people.

I want to see people the way that you see people.

I'm going to tell you folks, this is an area that I think all of us to some degree probably have struggled with in our life to love someone.

Why?

Because just they're part of the family of God.

Maybe it's just that you've kept everyone at arm's length.

Maybe you've never gotten to know someone further than a hello.

Maybe today you want to challenge yourself and allow God to challenge you to take that next step of breaking through that barrier and getting to know other fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Lord, I pray that you'd be, in this time of invitation, working hearts and lives.

I pray that if there's someone here today that needs you as Savior, that today can be the day of salvation.

But Lord, I pray that if there's someone here who has experienced the love of Christ, but maybe struggling and their love for others, maybe today can be the day in which there's a recommitment to loving others by way of sacrifice, by way of choosing, by way of of authenticity, by a way of the familial relationship, and by the way of being kindly affectionate, one to another, demonstrating that honor, putting others before themselves.

And so, Lord, we just thank you for this time.

I pray that you work in hearts and lives in Jesus name.

Amen.

And.